I was groomed by a guy at 14.

When I was 14 years old, I met my best friends ex. She was 1.5 years older than me, and he was like 5 years older than me at the time. She introduced us when we coincidentally met on the street.

​

I went with them to catch up since me and her were hanging out after school. He gave me a lot of attention, and called me cute, and said he wanted to adopt me, and keep me as his little sister. Within a month of that meeting, me and the guy were friends on Facebook and Snapchat. I honestly don't remember who added who, but I know he took a lot of initiative. He just called me his little sister. It was always "I miss you lil sis" or "I love you sis". I still have screenshots deeply buried.

​

He started inviting me to his house. Just me. Not his ex/my best friend. Yes i know I'm a dipshit for hanging out with my best friends ex. I had a really rough time at home, dealing with really awful things. He seemed to sense this, because he was really attentive to my every need. He would offer me gifts. Pretty rare plushies from his home country, and key chains. I always kept something from him with me at the time.

​

The first time I went to his house I met his dad (Ok why did his dad not react to his 19 year old son having a 14 year old girl over?!) as he was leaving. So we were alone. At first it was innocent. He knew i liked video games, so we did 1V1 in COD. He suggested we do bets. Like the loser had to do something for the winner. At first it was tame. Like lift a weight. Then it was to hug, sit on his lap, etc. I obviously lost.

​

I obviously had the biggest crush on this guy. I was such a dumb 14 year old. A cool guy with lots of tattoos and piercings and who smoked weed, giving me attention, and being obsessed with hugging me (he would send messages often that he missed hugging me when we didn't meet). But I just ignored it since I was a silly 14 year old with crushes on everyone who looked at me, and felt happy with being his little sister.

​

Towards the end of the first hang out he asked if I was tired and wanted to rest. So he wanted me to lay on his bed with him. Me laying in his arm, laying against him. Nothing more than that happened. He gave me a plushie, and walked me to the bus after.

​

He would always tell me to not hook up with anyone, or have sex with anyone I didn't trust fully. He told me to not drink alcohol, harm myself, do drugs (ironically he sold drugs). He was always very caring. I thought he really cared for me. And maybe he did in some way?

​

In the time after he would invite me over several times, and snap me daily. He was so aware of everything happening at home that he offered to talk to my mom about the hard time I was having. He even wanted to visit me in the hospital when I had to stay there. He helped me keep some things I couldn't keep at home for safety reasons, because he wanted to help me quit a bad habit.

​

He was really sweet. Always talking about how he loved his little sis, and missed me. Then right after I turned 15, he moved out of his dads place. He invited me over. And I went. This is where the line got really blurry. I think he was 20, almost 21 at this time. He had gotten a matching plushie for the one I had got before. He kissed me. Really kissed me. I was shocked, because I had at this point played his sister for a year. He kept saying that he liked me too much for me to be his sister. I was just mute at this point trying to comprehend what was going on.

​

We didn't exactly have a conversation. I just settled with I was his sister again after I left. We talked after like nothing, and I went back. Thats when something I didn't want happened. Something I did try to stop from happening, but he just didn't take the giant bold letter hints. So he ended up being my first, not voluntarily. It was a pretty horrible experience. After I was in shock and pretty quiet, especially when he walked in on my breakdown in the bathroom and just looked at me, washed his hands and went out.

​

I pretended everything was good. And i went home and i just cried the whole way home. I didn't even take the bus because i had no one waiting at home, so I walked until i physically couldn't anymore. Then he kinda ghosted me after. Before I tried confronting him, but I've always been avoidant. Suddenly he messaged me saying he missed my hugs. Then I talked to another friend and they told me he was grooming me and using me. I also had a pregnancy scare after that event, so I just blocked him everywhere.

​

Fast forward 3 years, we end up in the same high school (dont even ask, they had courses for adults to finish their gpa too?). I obviously cried and had constant panic attacks seeing his face. We never actually talked. I just avoided him like the plauge. He knew someone I knew. And he told them that we had dated before and that I dumped him (in what universe is that what happened??? And we were never together, i was just his sister until he crossed the line with a kid).

​

Luckily he moved away from my town. But to this day it haunts me. What bothers me is not knowing the why. Why did he do that? Was that his intention all along? To get me comfortable and safe with him so i would let him do those things to me. Did he genuinely think we dated? He was even talking to other girls at the time that I knew about, and he had a rumour of sleeping around. Then i think to the first hang out alone, cuddling and the bets, it all points in a nasty direction. I dont know what i want with this. I struggle a lot with trust issues today, and knowing what peoples intentions are.