I don't know how to move on

Sorry I'm drunk. Whenever I see people praising my husband how loyal he's to me and whenever they say how lucky I am to have him as my husband I want to scream Loud that he's a liar and a cheat who's acting in front is all. Hurts to hold the family financially and morally. If I break this many lives are at stake. In the process of trying to hold it I'm losing it. Sorry I'm blabbing but it hurts a lot. How can men be like this shameless. sorry again not all men. But hurts.