[Complete] [30k] [Sapphic Urban Fantasy] Blood Sisters

Hello everyone! I am currently looking for beta readers for my debut novella, Blood Sisters. It is a vampire urban fantasy with a sapphic romance substory. I am able to do a critique swap.

Blurb: When Morgan Holt’s grandmother dies and she inherits her debt, Morgan is forced to join the vampire mafia to pay it off. However, earning the approval of her ornery boss, Lys de Beauvau, is more difficult than she could have ever imagined, especially once sparks start flying between them. All the while, underlying political conflicts in their organization rise to a boiling point, threatening all that they’ve built together since being united as blood sisters. Will Lys and Morgan make it out unscathed, or will their tyrant of a leader, Arum de Sade, lead them and their family to their deaths?

Content Warnings: Death of MC’s grandmother, toxic/abusive relationship, blood and light gore, explicit sex on page, pee kink, blood drinking (vampires), discussions of class disparity/poverty, dom/sub dynamics, grief, sexual harassment, fatphobia, misogyny, PTSD, racism, body image issues

Excerpt:

My grandmother was barely six feet under when they came for me. Vibrant spring blossoms bloomed in stark contrast to the dark, dreary day when grief began to make me crumble. Despite this, scared for my safety, I pushed aside all thoughts of resistance and followed them out of the cemetery into their dark, fancy limousine. In my rush to leave, I had even forgotten to leave my bouquet of yellow roses on her fresh grave, so I awkwardly brought them along with me. What the hell am I doing, I thought. Couldn't these vultures wait for me to recover?

My thoughts spiraled until I was instructed to get in the car. I remained silent as I slid in. To my left was a refined, elegant lady dressed in white with mahogany skin. She was gorgeous in a timeless manner: well coifed curls and perfect makeup. Of course, the jig was up once her eyes met mine.

Red.

No, not them, I thought. The rest of this woman's workers had typical, human eye colors. Maybe it was a simple debt collector, or maybe some government officials? But, no, this was the worst possible situation that could stem from my grandmother's death besides, you know, a loved one of mine dying.

It was one thing to owe money to your typical moneylender or loan shark. If you didn't pay them back, they'd hound you with collections calls and clog up your inbox and tank your credit score. But with this particular organization, debts unpaid could mean the difference between life and death.

Which one was in my future?

Critique Guidance:

1. Is the beginning too info-dumpy?
2. Is the ending too rushed?
3. Do all of the characters feel fleshed out, or were you left wanting more of a particular character or characters?
4. Do Morgan/Pavot and Lys have chemistry?
5. Do the political mafia drama parts and the romance parts clash, or are they integrated together well?
6. Is the first half of the book too different from the second part?
7. Who are your favorite characters, if any, and why?
8. Does Morgan/Pavot come off as too immature given her age (30), even though she does act younger than her age and was quite sheltered growing up?

All beta reading will be done on StoryOrigin's secure platform.

The ideal response time would be by June 19th, but as that is short notice, by the end of the month would still work.

Thank you so much!!