i hate it when ppl compliment me /rant

i cant fucking take a compliment it feels like they r making fun of me or infantilizing me or hate me or smth. idk if its related to stpd but through my chhildhood teacher figure have always for some reason treated me like i was special and to dmthis day lecturers go out of their way to compliment me in front of the whole fucking class SPECIFICALLY ME nobody else and I KNOW WHAT I MADE FOR AN ASSIGNMENT WAS NOT SPECIAL or even good sometimes but for some reason they love me and it feels humiliating and isk why but it makes me angry and also paranoid that everybody else in the room hates me and the lecturer fuels their hate even more now theyre all resenting me. UGH. and also i feel like i manipulated the lecturer into liking me cuz other students dont exactly like me at all but for some reason teacher figures get hard at the thiught of me. IM SUPPOSED TO BE UNLIKABLE BUT I GET LIKED BY PPL IDC ABOUT BUT PPL I WANNA CONNECT WITH HATE ME OR JUST DONT LIKE ME HOWS THAT POSSIBLE😭😭😭😭😭