WHAT DO I DO WITH THEM??

Hello to all of yall who reads this I just feel frustrated lately about my family dynamic but I truly don’t have anyone to talk to about it.
So,I’m 17 yo,an only child and have quit old parents (mom 54 and dad who is 64)
About 9 months ago i realised that they fucked me up,since then i felt a lot of anger like I don’t want this people to be my parents.
For me my mom always was the head of the family and the main parent what I mean by that is that she did every possible chore at home by herself and was always supervising me at every accession like school,doctor appointments,doing documents,etc
My dad on the other hand never done those things,besides,he can’t do anything on his own besides bringing money to the table,everything else is done by my mom even HIS chores .I think at some point I do feel bad for my mom but the thing is she wasn’t the best parent either.When I was a kid I think 8-10 years she abused me,I won’t get big into details but she starved me and gave me 3 enemas PER DAY,her reasoning was that a had bad immune system or whatever the fuck at that time she was obsessed with intestinal lavage trough out starving/diets,I don’t remember for how long she did that to me but after that we didn’t talk about this times but I heard her talking about it with her friends without any remorse.She also beat me up a couple of times when I was even younger,usually it was because I showed anger or wasn’t doing what she wants me or if I didn’t know how to do something the RIGHT way (I developed a coping mechanism of hitting myself whenever I’m angry because it feels a lot)
Now she acts all sweet and nice at the same time talks to me like I’m a child who cannot comprehend basic stuff and until recently was doing everything for me until I realised that it’s not normal that i basically wasn’t teached anything.
As for my dad he isnt even a parent tbh,feels more like a manchild who’s always yelling how ungrateful everyone are as if he is not the most annoying human known to man;always complains,yells,CUSS at my mother (also provokes her for reaction),leaves mess.They (parents) can be fighting and cussing each other out and after a couple of minutes laugh and pretend like everything is fine.This one is common in this family,saying a lot of mean stuff and then pretend like nun happened.

They make me feel insane I am constantly in denial if my reactions to them are reasonable?Like they can be trying to talk or just ask question and I will ignore them then blow up with anger and go and beat myself trying to calm down because my dad always acts annoyed with my emotions and for mom they are always were too much,I am constantly told to "calm down" which pisses me off even more

I am sorry if this long as text does not make ANY SENSE I am bad at this stuff and formulating sentences