My story, a call for help

Hey there ! First I want to thank you for reading my story and you don’t know how much appreciation I have for that, it is good to know that some people still are good listeners, especially when it comes to a stranger.

My name is Joseph, I’m 19 years old (soon 20) and this is my story. It is a call for help, a need from experienced people. At my senior year of high-school, I completly let myself go, gained dozens of weight, didn’t study enough and wasn’t sociable at all. War has hit my country at late 2024, wich forced me to switch university in the middle of the first semestre, and I had to catch up everything. I was in a severe depression and a need to just get out of my body.

Then, there is this girl I met at my university. It felt like this girl loved me for who I truly am, at that time, I wasn’t physically and mentally able to be myself, but she gave me the love I needed to keep going in life.

At Spring and summer 2025, I lost dozens of weight, glew up physically and found a job, gained a little bit of discipline. At fall 2025, in the 3rd semestre (2nd year) I have completly fell in love with her.

To describe her, she’s a very beautiful and gorgeous girl, natural beautiful, very tough mentality, she works, drives, and is between the first people at my college. She knows her priorities straight and has her life together. Not to exagerate, but every guy that passes by her looks at her, and she’s very dominant, a true commander. We have passed wonderful moments together.

To pass the details, on november 2025, I confessed my feelings for her through texting, something I have never did in my whole life. The storm has hit, and she rejected me, saying that I’m a very beautiful and polite man, but she just isn’t thinking about this right now, that I shocked her a little bit and that for the future it is very hard for us in a religious aspect (Since she is muslim and I’am christian).

Hard days have came and our friendship shook, but since I’m a good person by nature,and since she’s mature, we were able to keep a hard friendship, and I had the power to forgive her after she mistreated me many times for work and projects( since she is very perfectionist,straight and bossy), she became friends with people I didn’t really like and felt replaced and heartbroken many times, my finals were not good because of that and I was crying alot that period.

You would ask why didn’t I let her go, the anwser is that it is very hard for me, she is my co-worker in lab, we see eachothers everyday at college (same class) and we really fit to be spending time together. I had a month of break where I would restore my dopamine and detach from her emotionally (19 december-19 january), I felt the need to do it since I couldn’t handle how she was mistreating me, the last day of finals she left while I told her I wanted to spend some time together.

This year in 2026, things became more normal, we kept a strong relationship that grew stronger everyday,but I tried to take space, and while bad events happened because of that, such as she felt like I was doing awkward decisions, I kept fighting no matter what. My grades this semester were exceptional, I really wanted to be as successful as her (but never really compared myself toxicly to her).

This Summer we have lab together, Things are going not so well, my emotions are coming back, and I heard that she was planning to get married at 23-24 years old. I told myself that if I don’t detach, I think my whole life will be destroyed watching her getting married. This summer, I have lab, I work at a pharmacy, I go to the gym and I’m passing my driving license, but my attachment to her doesent seem to dissolve.

I need concrete steps for a new life, i’m not asking to be with her anymore, what I want is PEACE in order to live my days peacefully. I’m asking for help, and I sure would like to become successful one day, and to laugh about it in the future!