Hello Dear Valheim Enthusiast,

My name is Grifter The Noob. 

I’d like to invite you to join me in my epic Viking saga. 

You see, I was born with an extraordinary gift...

I'm incredibly smart and handsome. 

But I can also teleport inside of any video game I want. 

I've chosen Valheim. Rather, Valheim has chosen me. 

Odin came to me in a dream and picked me as his champion.

He told me I would go down in history as... “GrifThor The Viking.”

He has sent me to Valheim to defeat his most fearsome enemies…

Starting with nothing but my bare hands and an annoying sidekick named Donki. 

(Well, that’s not “technically” his name, but I’ve decided that’s what he’s called. That’s my prerogative as the leader.)

Anyway, every moment of my journey is being carefully documented and narrated by yours truly. 

In our first episode we embark on a quest to find the perfect base location. 

We sail the entire world. On a raft. In rag leather. Just as Odin intended. 

This adventure is not for the weak minded. The strategic brilliance and intellectual prowess you’ll witness are unsuitable for most audiences. 

Thank you for your time.

Actually, what am I saying? I’m the one who spent seven whole minutes writing this post while you just… sat there, reading it.

You’re welcome, for my time.

Now if you'll excuse me, my Hot Pocket is getting cold and my mom is yelling at me about something. 

Skol,

\-Grifter The Noob

GrifThor The Viking - A Valheim Saga (Ep1)