| [26F] love my long-distance boyfriend [39M], but I feel like we're fundamentally incompatible

I'm a 26-year-old Latina woman in a long-distance relationship with a 39-year-old Indian man who lives abroad in america. We met through social media and we've been together for a year and a half, traveled together, see each other every 3 months. He has met my family and friends, so it's pretty serious, and I truly believe he is genuinely a good person.

The problem is that over time I've become increasingly aware of how incompatible we might be. Some examples:

We have significant cultural and religious differences, as he is Indian-Muslim, and I am an agnostic genz Latina.
We do seem to have similar views on how close we are with family, politics and some common interests like love for nature and stuff like that, but on the other hand, we have different expectations around communication and emotional connection, and honestly, everything else.

I often feel like I have to repeatedly ask him for things that matter to me: emotional connection, initiative, romance, feeling included in his life, feeling listened to, feeling prioritized. But When we first got together, he was much more attentive, he would send long messages, make more effort, show more curiosity about my interests and dreams, and generally make me feel pursued and cherished. He would send me flowers If I had a bad day, send me medicine if I was feeling sick. And would do and still do the same for him.

Overtime, that effort on his part seems to have faded.
For example, I often feel like he isn't particularly interested in things that are important to me. Sometimes I suggest activities and he immediately dismisses them. I don't always feel heard when I talk about things I care about, he will pretend he listens and just say cool..

I ask him to do different type of dates and suggest him ideas, and he would just say "let's just watch a movie on Netflix, I'll share on discord and chill" and that's all we do. I’ll ask questions and he’ll say baby don’t ask too many questions

Another issue is that I increasingly feel like I'm taking on a caretaker role. Sometimes I feel more like I'm managing or supporting him than being in an equal partnership. I've even caught myself thinking, "I don't want to be responsible for him" and that thought really scared me cuz I don't wanna be feeling this way for ever.

But my biggest issue here is this: when we started dating I put on my stances on important topics out right away, told him I wasn't interested in marriage and I absolutely don't want to have children. I told him at the start I never want to be a mother. And he went on with me said it was ok, said he understood my stand on it.

Fast forward to now, he's saying he wants a traditional family, that he wants a small version of me. That he wants to see me pregnant. That a family of his own is the most important thing In life for him. And I'm feeling very frustrated and pressured. I'm feeling like he fooled me and was just expecting me to change my mind from the beginning of our relationship.

He's talking about me moving with him getting married and starting a family, and he'll even accept to have a pet.
Context: He knows I love animals, and I have an 8 years old dog, who is my everything. He is not really an animal guy, he doesn't like dogs or cats, but he said he has grown fond to my dog.

And while he is speaking about all of these, his parents don't even know I exist. Nor his friends, nor his co-workers, no one in his life knows about me except for one cousin. Not a single story or post on ig, while I have posted him. I sometime feel like im a secret for him. And he says it's too complicated to explain because his people will ask too much questions...

Now His parents will visit him now and will stay for 3 months, and I wonder if he is going to call me as usual, or just try to chat quickly when they are not around... or even tell them I’m his girlfriend.
This also means we won't be seeing each other in person for at least another 6 months, I don't even know how to feel about that.

There's also a sexual component. He rarely prioritizes my pleasure in ways that I prioritize his. Early in the relationship he told me that he usually didn't enjoy going down on women, but that I was different, that he loved doing it on me… He did that once, but then stopped completely. After that, all the times we are together he just wants me to go down on him and then goes inside me instantly, and that's it... I haven't been feeling good in bed with him. But I try every time to make him feel good and desired and fake it.

The hardest part is that despite all of this, I still love him. miss him constantly. I still get excited when I hear from him. I still care deeply about him and want him to be happy. Cuz he is not a monster, he is a good man, he has good feelings and I know he cares about me.

But lately I can't shake the feeling that I'm watching the slow-motion version of our ending. Like I can already see where this is heading years from now, and I'm struggling with whether I'm seeing reality clearly or sabotaging something good.

I don't want to hurt him

I don't want to be the villain.

I don't want to throw away a relationship with a genuinely good man. But I also don't want to wake up five years from now realizing I ignored incompatibilities that were obvious all along and regret it, or grow to resent him.

Has anyone been in a relationship where the love was real, but the incompatibilities kept growing louder?

How did you know whether to keep fighting for the relationship or accept that love wasn't enough?

Please I need advice on what to do, I don't want to screw him over with my friends...

TLDR: I'm a 26F in a long-distance relationship with my
39M boyfriend. I love him and he's a good person, but we have growing incompatibilities regarding communication, lifestyle, values, future plans, and possibly children. I feel like I'm watching a slow-motion breakup and don't know whether to fight for the relationship or accept that love may not be enough.