Was I a rebound or she an avoidant?

Was I a rebound or is she an avoidant?

24m here
Hey everyone, I really need some outside perspective on a situation that has completely wrecked me over the last few months. I’m trying to understand if I was just a rebound, if her feelings were ever real, or what the hell actually happened.
So, this girl was my classmate back in school.

Around February, we reconnected on Instagram, and honestly, things moved at absolute lightning speed. Within a day, the vibe turned super flirty. For the next two weeks, we were talking regularly every single day. The emotional momentum was so intense that we both felt like we shouldn't just stay in a talking stage, so after literally just two weeks, we became boyfriend and girlfriend.

We were already saying “I love you” to each other and things just went into overdrive. We had late-night calls and texts until 3 AM. She’d randomly tell me she was starting to love me more and more and that her feelings were getting stronger daily. What stood out to me was that she’d wake up at 6 AM just to talk to me while I was driving back home, which was around 60 kilometers away from where I was staying at the time. I was also dealing with a stressful hospital issue around then, and she was constantly checking up on me and being there for me. Naturally, I felt like she was deeply into me and that this was becoming serious very quickly.

But looking back, there were a few things that I didn’t really know what to make of. She told me she had a lot of guy friends and interacted with a ton of people on Instagram. She also dumped a lot of past relationship trauma on me early on. She told me about a toxic, abusive 4-year relationship with an ex who cheated on her (which ended about a year and a half before we started dating).

She’d also constantly tell me about other guys who had crushes on her, guys who liked her, or male friends she had to reject. Sometimes I wondered if she was just sharing things about her life, and other times I wondered if she was somehow testing my reaction or trying to make me jealous.

The intensity peaked when I had to travel to Hyderabad for an interview, which is where she was staying. By this point, we were talking constantly, sharing pictures, and getting emotionally attached very quickly. When I met her in person, that attachment went into overdrive. Looking back, I think I became pretty clingy. Because of how much affection she’d been showering me with online, I got comfortable way too fast and started acting like we’d been together for months instead of just a few weeks. I always wanted to be close to her. When it came to physical stuff, she initially told me she takes things slow, and I made sure to respect that and always asked for consent before doing anything, like kissing her.

But as time went on, the emotional current was so strong that we did end up kissing and getting physically close anyway.
The very next day, she came with me to my interview. On our way back via the metro, she dropped even more heavy stuff on me—going into deep detail about how abusive her ex was, talking about her dad issues, and bringing up more dudes who liked her that she rejected.

After we got back to the room, I made a really wrong move. I had a picture of her that I thought was funny at the time (looking back, it was just weird), and without asking her permission, I posted it to my Instagram story. I came back, and confessed to her that I did it. She was completely infuriated and deeply angry, which was totally valid. We have a common classmate who saw the pic and said “whoa what is this ? “ and she said I never told we were dating to him and he knows my ex
I asked ok so is it an issue why is it a problem? She said it ain’t a problem.We didn't really resolve it right then, and shortly after, we traveled back to our hometowns and went our separate ways.

As soon as we separated, she sent me a single text message saying that she was ending this thing and that she didn't feel the connection with me anymore. I completely panicked. I constantly begged her, apologized profusely for my mistake, and asked for another chance, but she remained completely firm. She said she couldn't be with someone who did that, that her feelings were entirely gone, and she completely rejected me.

A week or two later, she started putting those anonymous "Ask Me Anything" features on her Instagram stories. People would ask her status, and she’d post answers like "I don't have anyone right now," "I'm only single," and "I don't like anyone right now." I had no idea what the objective was—was she trying to rub it in my face, or just advertise to everyone that she was available?

Then, things got a million times worse. My father passed away, and I was in a state of constant, absolute sorrow. Out of nowhere, she texted me a condolence message that felt incredibly stiff and formal—almost like it was generated by ChatGPT—saying she was really sorry and that if I wanted to talk, I could always reach out.

The next day, I reached out because I was in a terrible, vulnerable place—dealing with a sudden death and a brutal breakup all at once. I tried to call her, but she denied my call. Instead, she just sent me a single text message rejecting me all over again, repeating that she was over me and had zero feelings. It felt so bad because just weeks prior, she was talking about a long-term future with me and saying "I love you," and now she wouldn't even let me call her. I still begged her over text and asked her to please stay with me, and at one point she almost seemed into it again, but the emotional whiplash was just too much.

I finally realized I couldn't do this anymore. I told her I was done, and I completely cut her off—blocked her on everything, removed her from Snapchat, and unfollowed her on Instagram.

Even before I blocked her, she kept giving me mixed signals. She used to like my Instagram stories even after the breakup and would send me Snaps—not of her face, but just updates on what she was doing throughout her day. It was messing with my head, which is why I had to cut contact.

It’s been three months now since the breakup, and I'm just left with a lot of painful questions:
⁠Was this a rebound relationship? Her 4-year toxic relationship ended 1.5 years before us. Was she just using me for quick validation?

2. ⁠Did her feelings actually mean anything? How does someone go from saying "I love you," talking about a future, and waking up at 6 AM for you, to having absolutely "zero feelings" just days later? Was it all an act, or did she genuinely care during that month?
3. ⁠Is she an avoidant? The massive trauma-dumping followed by an immediate emotional shutdown the second a conflict happened makes me wonder if she just runs away when things get real or messy.
   I know I made a mistake with the Instagram story, but did our relationship value anything to her at all? How do I make sense of all of this? Any insight would be highly appreciated.
   You have to understand it got to a point that she wants me to marry her 🤷🤷🤷 telling me that her dad will like me and all