I don’t know where to start

My official ETS is on the 23rd and I filed my intent on May the 7th. But I have no idea where to begin and my algorithm has made me so anxious. I have my medical records, but no diagnosis for stuff. I have a ton of issues from PTSD To pretty much everything on my right side being in a constant state of pain, some documented nerve damage and I had a PE after a dental extraction while on duty. I’m a reservist, at least for the next few days but just starting this process has given me so much anxiety. I don’t know where to begin. I had a damn near panic attack about it today, and I can’t turn off the part of my brain that tells me other people have it worse don’t complain, just walk it off. I planned on doing my 20 but ever since the girls school in Iran got blown up I’ve been having nightmares about the orphans from Afghanistan I was looking after, who keep asking me why I’m helping kill other kids. After that I decided to quietly separate, I’m not trying to get political to your beliefs yours and to me mine. I guess I’m just rambling at this point but this feels like a safe place. I feel so weak, and unworthy and between panic, I’m just numb. I feel a deep shame that I know I can’t finish my service, but also a deep shame to even approach filing because I know my brothers and sisters who’ve had it so much. I’ve started thinking about it as workers comp and not disability and that’s been helpful, but I still feel like I’m doing something wrong. Everything just feels so off, idk. I’m sorry if this post was a big nothing burger, idk. I don’t really have anyone but my old battle buddy to talk to about this kinda stuff.