40 something [F4M] #Online/Anywhere Looking for friends maybe less

I’m a fan of sarcasm, witty banter, exchanging memes and random fun facts, occasional light flirting. 

NOT a fan of small talk or having to summarise my life as if it’s a job interview 5 min into chatting. 

Ideally be in European time zones. So the voice calls would be possible if we click.

Be single. Not that I’m looking for anything other than a platonic connection, but I don’t find people who are in relationships all that relatable. Yeah I realise conversations eventually fizzle out and people fall out of touch, but it’s still fun to get to know someone. I’m the kind of person who finds inspiration in random people and random events.

Delayed answers, talking at intervals are not only acceptable but encouraged, as there is nothing time sensitive here. 

I’m pretty sure I’ll get:

-‘Hi's, and some other lame openers. 

-Poor punctuation and grammar. Along with "lol"s, and similar.

-Replies from men over 35 who use 'lol's or cringeworthy terms like 'child-free' (I’m not crazy about children either, but ffs stop talking about children as if they’re pest)

-Non-committal, one word replies, extended small talk attempts that lead to conversational roadblocks. 

-Replies from those who have no clue what’s going on in the world and can’t form an opinion even on pizza toppings. 

-A flurry of book, movie, song recommendations as if it’s the prerequisite for a chat.

I’d like to be proven wrong. 

For the love of the Lord please don't reply to the post itself. It's just... weird.