Advice for a First Timer?

This is my first real attempt at not drinking. 44M with a habit of 5-6 drinks most nights. Been drinking since college but towards the end of last year it was creeping up to a six pack in a session. Back in December between the kids and the holidays and the drinking, I was just EXHAUSTED. So I decided to embark on a health journey and give not drinking a try. And to be honest I’ve really been enjoying this period of focusing on bettering myself. Not that it’s been a walk in the park. I’m really proud of what I’ve done. This sub has been really helpful. In fact I’ve become somewhat obsessive about checking it. Rough patch around 75-90 days but now at almost 160 days I have to say things are the hardest they’ve been the ENTIRE 5 months I haven’t been drinking. Like two weeks of constantly thinking about it - which is new. I’m doing all the things to distract myself. Almost feel like I’m planning to throw in the towel without REALLY wanting to yet. My sweet wife continues to drink and is SO supportive of whatever decision I make. I just want to find some relief. I’ve been pretty even keeled up until this point. Not sure what’s going on with me but really torn about sticking with this. I have this funny feeling that since it’s my first time ever REALLY trying to not drink in earnest that I need to see what it’s like to go back for contrast. Of course my logical brain knows that’s silly. Anyone been in a similar situation where it feels like a shift happened mentally and you lost your “why?” Sure I can stick it out just for today but something feels like it shifted and I don’t know how to get back to where i was mentally a few weeks ago. For what it’s worth I’m a generally anxious person so that doesn’t help LOL. Thanks friends.