Intact Jake’s Love Language (College baseball player in the sauna)

I met Jake early in the Fall quarter last year, when he was still an awkward but charmingly sexy eighteen year old. His locker was next to mine and I noticed he wasn’t that pernickety about disrobing. Yes, he clutched his white towel to his groin before slipping his boxers off, but he didn’t bother to really fasten it very tightly so I saw parts of his private anatomy during the four times it slipped. He was headed to the sauna, so after a respectful two minute pause I entered the sauna after him.

Jake was lying on his side like a dog, with his legs splayed, the towel nonchalantly draped over his midsection. We had a nice conversation. He’s a music and a philosophy major, and speaks several languages. He’s a handsome boy with a good amount of chest hair that gets matted around his stomach. Light brown hair, but his chest and abdominal hair is a little darker. I wanted to lick him from his navel to his collarbone.

He has a great enthusiasm for reading, so we discussed our favorite books. He also likes skiing, travel and classical music. He speaks a little haltingly, as if choosing his words with utmost care, and speaks with a somewhat “rich” upper-class accent, with just a relic of Mid-Atlantic English. For example, there becomes “theyah”.

A few times he adjusted his position, but did not adjust his towel, causing it to slide away. He corrected it a few times but did not bother to cover his privates.

Our sophisticated little philosopher’s stylus is UNCUT!

And beside his fine, full bush, his scrotum was so relaxed that his testicles were liquified!

I wanted to play with him the same way the nurses played with my penis when I woke up after surgery, in the early Eighties. I had expected my mom to be there, but instead there were four or five nurses standing around my bed in the recovery room. They were smiling. My penis was sticking out of the opening in my hospital gown. I was just laying there, groggy, not really registering anything, when one of the nurses reached down and gave my penis a little shake, and said “ding-a-ling” with a Southern drawl. She waited a second, and she shook it again and repeated “ding-a-ling” in a sing-song twang. She was trying to get me to tuck my penis away, but I didn’t respond. She said “ding-a- ling” a third time was about to give it another shake when I finally got the point and sat up in bed, letting my penis retreat under the gown. The nurses laughed.

I wanted to play the “ding-a-ling” game with Jake’s penis.

Later I saw him in front of his locker. He was nude, and his back was turned. A shapely ass, fine buttocks with coarse hair in the breach. He turned partly to look at me and raised his eyebrows in friendly greeting.

I really appreciate his liberal arts education, and how liberally he shared his body with me.

But I got the best insight about his sexual behavior a week later. He was in the lobby of the rec facility, watching a baseball game. I went up to him and tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hey Jake- how are your classes going?”

His eyes were glued to the screen, and without turning away from the tv he just said, “Oh, it’s fine, thanks. Excuse me, I have to watch this.”

In addition to his cultural interests Jake is a huge baseball fan.

What does the fact that he was watching the game so intensely have to do with his sex life? It means that whatever Jake does, he does with singleness of purpose and total focus. So, when he’s talking to me in the sauna, he speaks deliberately and with great thought. When he watches a baseball game, he has no time for small talk. When he’s making love, that is the only thing he’s concerned about. He does not do two things at once. This means that he might tolerate some clowning around before sex, but once he takes off his boxers and his full raging erection pops into view, that is not the time for cutesy jokes.

I’ve read that women value intensity and seriousness in a lover, even more than a big penis or striking muscles. Ladies, Jake might ignore you when his favorite team is playing, or if his favorite Tchaikowsky symphony comes on the radio. But when he’s in the mood for romance, Jake will love you to exhaustion and crown your orgasm with kisses.