How do I build my self love/respect?

How do I build my self respect, self esteem and self love? Im not really in a good place at the moment. I hate the way way that I am, in recent years ive found out im Autistic, ADHD, severely anxious and possibly OCD.. im horrified how I invite and attract certain people who dont fuck with me like that or who just pity me. I know now its due to my fucked up nervous system.. but anyways my self respect, self esteem and self love are low.. if i could measure it id say its coffe table height.. how do i build myself up as a 30yr old black woman..