My married friend

I’m 25F. She’s 25F.

We met as roommates, lived together for about a year and a half, then moved back to our hometowns. We still see each other constantly, talk often, and work at the same company together.

While living together, we had a situationship. It wasn’t “just fun” for me I fell in love. She said she loves me too.

I asked for something real. She said no.

She told me she doesn’t want a relationship with a woman anymore and wants a heterosexual life (husband, kids, traditional family setup). She’s been mostly with women before, but now she’s married to a man (very quickly, arranged situation).

And here’s the problem:

I’m still in love with her.

And I’m still in her life.

We talk. We see each other. I help her with the wedding stuff ( she didn’t ask me to but i want whatever time with her). I’m basically still emotionally involved in her daily life like nothing changed.

But everything changed.

She’s married.

And I feel stuck in the in-between where I didn’t “lose” her, but I also can’t have her.

I also know this dynamic is destroying me. I have anxious attachment, she is very avoidant. I spiral when she doesn’t reply quickly. She needs space and independence. I KNOW this is normal for her, but it triggers me anyway.

I also hate admitting this, but I compare myself to her husband constantly, even though I know it’s pointless.

Here’s the blunt truth: I don’t know how to detach when she’s still actively in my life and I’m still emotionally attached.

Do I need to cut her off completely? Or is there any realistic way to stay in contact and still move on?

Because right now I feel like I’m slowly losing my mind while pretending everything is normal.