So basically I live with my parents. I struggle a lot with my mental health, mainly BPD, OCD and ADHD and anxiety and autism (all diagnosed). Recently I’ve been feeling absolutely rotten. Last month at my birthday party I got taken advantage of by a plus one who my friend brought. However this friend still invited him to hang out with us at the club knowing what he did (she was literally there when it happened). I ended up having such a bad panic attack I had to be taken to the hospital in a cop car. I am no longer friends with that girl.

My parents are pretty much helicopter parents. They are Christian (I’m not) and think that I need micromanaging. They had parental controls on my phone until I was almost 20. When they found out about the incident at my birthday party, they blamed me. Especially my mother. She uses it against me in arguments.

I’ve been feeling awful lately. There are no jobs where I am, my friend who is 21 has applied for over 20 jobs and got rejected from them all. I want to move out but because of my mental health and no job it’s hard.

A few weeks ago they told me they had visited a "youth village" in a small town almost an hour and a half away from my house. When they talked to me about it, it was clear that they had their hearts set on it and I knew I wouldn’t have a say in it. They said that the place gives you daily chores and has a counsellor to talk to and they help you plan your life.

But I’m so so scared. I visited the place and it looked a lot less nice than the video they posted. I wouldn’t consider it a village, there are about 7 young people living there. Everything is shared, you only get your own tiny cabin with a heater. You have to go outside and walk to the hall to go to the toilet. Showers are 5 minutes max.

It looked and reminded me a LOT of school camp.

I don’t want to go. I really don’t. They’ve arranged for me to move there in two weeks. I have such bad anxiety about it and I’m very sure that I will get depressed there. What will I even do all day?? I just feel rotten about it. I don’t want to hear that I should make the most of it and whatnot. I genuinely just don’t know what to do. What if this place is not what it claims to be? I’ve already dropped out of college to live there.

My friend who lives in the country said I can live with her. But I don’t know how that will work. But I want to give it a try!!

My parents are sending me to a youth commune. I’m 20 and I’m scared.