Big step as a woman(?)

37, 3 years on HRT, post-orch, FFS, and boob job.

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TLDR, I invited a man to hit me the other day.

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I’ve recently gotten into the local kink community as an impact bottom/painslut. My favorite dungeon is actually sex-free. And on Wednesday I asked a male top to do a 25 minute scene with me for the first time; basically the kink equivalent of asking a man for a dance.

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The guy in question is quite a gentleman, very careful with consent, and he did a number on my butt and thighs.

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I'll spare the graphic details and suffice it to say it was the first time I've ever stripped (down to my panties) for a man, first time I've ever let a man unhook my bra, and the first time I've acted on my desire to have "fun" with a specific guy; I've still never had sex with a guy despite my body screaming at me to do it. It was also the first time i went to a dungeon without makeup on.

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Here's why I feel this is significant: three years ago i hate and feared men, two years ago i was stuck in a shame spiral because I was attracted to men and couldn't call myself a lesbian anymore, and a year ago I was panicking because my FFS date was moved up by 5 months and I had 10 days to get ready.

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But a few days ago i walked up to man, engaged in some flirty small talk, and asked him to "dance".