Just about to turn 20

I’m just about to turn 20. I think I should feel happy, however I feel quite the opposite. I wish I could say that I enjoyed my teenage years and made the most out of them, but the truth is that I’ve always been alone wishing I had a friend and working hard to try to stop my thoughts racing. I feel like I’m a shell of who I used to be when I was a kid. On paper my life seems to going well yet I don’t think I’ve ever been this depressed before.

I desperately want to rid myself of my depression and anxiety. It’s so exhausting to have my thoughts uncontrollably racing and worrying about every little thing I do or say. I want to believe I can change and start a new chapter of my life where I’m happier and have a friend or two without my overwhelming thoughts or emotions, however, it seems that however hard I try the outcome remains the same. It’s taken my teenage years and I don’t want it to ruin my future too.