AITAH for being angry that my boyfriend doesn’t shower after being in the pool

YTA

My boyfriend and I have different views on hygiene. He showers in the morning and then goes to bed sweaty in the evening, sometimes even after bouldering if he thinks he didn’t sweat much. The same applies if he has been out in public or even partying. I shower in the evening because I like to keep my bed clean. I find it disgusting not to go to bed feeling fresh, and I also have a rule of no street clothes in bed. I also prefer to change the bed linen more often, about every two weeks.

We are currently on vacation and have rented a villa with friends that has a very large private pool. Of course, the villa is also rented out to other people, and the pool is large, so it is chlorinated and the water is not completely replaced. He not only enjoys going into pools on this vacation but generally, and he does not shower afterward. Not even a quick rinse under the pool shower with just water, let alone with shower gel. In the evening, he then goes into our bed naked. On the second evening, even though he should have known better, I pointed it out to him, and I stripped and washed the bed linen in the Airbnb because I couldn’t stand it and found it disgusting. I told him why. On the last evening of the vacation, he came to me and asked if he could go to bed like that. We sometimes sleep in pajamas, and I thought he meant the clothes. I said it was fine because I assumed he had only worn them inside the house, but then I realized he meant without showering. So he went to bed without showering after being in the pool. It’s the last evening, yes, but I still find it disgusting. Am I the asshole for being upset?

Posted Jun 12, 2026, 11:43 PM UTC

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