I'm not sure if I can push through this time

I (21 ftm) got diagnosed about a year ago, and so far, I’ve been on 3 different meds. I just went off the last one and started new ones, and my psychiatrist says they'll take a while to take effect since we have to up the dose slowly. I've become very depressed, and I’m finding it hard to act normal or do things like work or go to the gym at all. I've been through this before, but this time, I’m actually in a position where I could be homeless. I live with my grandmother, and she had a bad fall not too long ago, so my aunt and uncle are putting her in a home. So now everything's just blown up on me. We were planning on breaking the lease, but they're saying she won't be able to help with the cost anymore, and I don't have the full amount. Now I’m basically being forced to just up and leave and put my stuff in storage because I can't afford the full rent either. My credits not great, but now it's going to be impossible for me to get a place on my own anytime soon, and it just reminds me how no one ever cared about me or my future very much in the first place (especially since my mom passed away a few years ago). I can't stay with my uncle because he's a super Christian, and I’m trans, so "we live different lives," and my aunt is going through too much. My friends all have no space, and my girlfriend still lives at home.
Now I’m aware that I’ll be fine staying in my car for a month and putting my stuff in storage, and I can move a couple of states away with other family and transfer jobs (it's not the best living environment, but they have a camper I can stay in). Or I can get a place with my friend in a couple of months, but that will take longer, and I won't be able to save money like I could staying with family. The big problem is right as all this is happening, I’m literally so depressed I can't bring myself to do anything functional for very long. If I can't work, I’ll get fired, and then everything is over. I've kept my job because I’m a good worker and have been honest with my manager, but the company is really cracking down on people apparently, and I think she's tired of me. If something doesn't work soon or I don't snap out of it, there's literally no point in even continuing anymore. The only thing that's keeping me going is my girlfriend, and I’m afraid all of this will become too much for her. Sorry this is so much to read, I just needed to vent somewhere people might actually understand a little.

Posted Jun 12, 2026, 11:44 PM UTC

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