do erections or lack thereof have anything to do with the partner?

so i need to put some backstory for context

so my ex was almost NEVER able to get an erection with me, apparently he had an easier time getting up with porn or (in his own words) random women

at that point it was my first real relationship, and all i had really ever known was what i heard from friends and what i heard from internet/tv/books

and so i threw myself into reading about ED and anxiety manifestations in men and so much more

i do believe i really legitimately untied any sort of an erection from my self esteem, full or not

as well as learning to have some kind of a sex life with someone with ED (although that was harder for reasons having nothing to do with this)

which i thought would be a good thing right? WRONG LOLOL

my current boyfriend has almost no issue getting an erection, and honestly never really has, but again back to unlearning everything i thought i knew about penises i just never really paid attention to it

and the other day my boyfriend asked if 'him getting boners so often meant anything to me' and i answered honestly and said no

i could tell he was upset by that so i explained what i explained here, but i cant tell if it made it worse or better

its been a few days (he doesn't really like to talk about heavy things without a few days in between so he can think) and i kinda connected those dots in my head here about myself and this situation

but i wanted to gather more perspectives on this (specifically perspectives of the male variety)

do erections really mean nothing or have nothing to do with someones partner?