I don’t know what to feel

Hello everyone, just want to vent. I went to Busan in the hopes of watching the BTS concert, I didn’t get a ticket during pre-sale since hindi ko alam na ganun kasensitive si NOL app kahit magcheck ng notif makikick ka. I’ve been camping eversince but no luck. I took a chance flying out here kasi sabi ng friends better chances during cancellations and near the concert day. Day 1 na kahapon and wala nasa labas lang ako kasi wala ako nakuha. I felt so hurt, jealous, embarrassed and super devastated hindi ko na alam nafefeel ko sa sobrang dami. Nagbbreakdown ako sa labas, while im happy to hear them live masakit padin. I don’t know what to feel sa friend ko, nakanuod siya ng concert and I know I shouldn’t expect, but I thought she would help me secure a ticket since she’s a veteran na sa mga concert and sabi niya possible makakuha. Pero wala siya masyado help? Like nagsesend lang siya ng possible scalpers pero yun lang. Didn’t check in on me or what. I honestly don’t know what to feel, I know she’s not obligated to help but I can’t help but feel na iniwan ako to fend for the ticket when sinabi niya na kaya yan ganyan. I’m only here sa busan 4 days pero flight ko na ng 4th day, nasayang na 2 days ko. I really don’t know anymore, breaking down again kasi tangina ang sakit.