My dad has videos of me having gay sex

Sodomy where I live is illegal but I was stupid enough to record it and he went through my phone a long while ago and found it. And he hit me so hard he basically disfigured me and I wasn't able to tell anyone what happened without risking going to jail instead and ever since then it never stopped and it happens again and again every day and no one cares anymore not my mom not my siblings not anyone in my family or even because they think I deserve what I get for i did maybe or whatever but I don't care what I deserve anymore it's too much I'm disgusting he marked me I'm forever disgusting now I can't even look at the mirror and every time I ask others for any legal help they tell me there's no way out I really have to wait it out until I graduate and get a job I try and try and try and try and try but there's no way to save me I can't just keep being patient for another 5 hours