We are putting my cat down tomorrow.

My cats name is King. He's 13 years old with a tumor that started as a lump on his cheek and has spread throughout his body. We are putting him down tomorrow morning and I could not be more depressed. King was one kitten of 5 that was birthed through our old cat 13 years ago. I immediately had a special bond with him and we kept him. He's not only been my best friend, emotional support animal and way of escape - but also my entire world. I love this cat. I love him so unbelievably much. We went to the vet about a month ago and they prescribed antibiotics to help with the pain. King has not been eating, drinking, using the litter box or meowing for days. He would always greet me with a loud meow. Now he's silent.

I feel so selfish. Throughout this whole experience I've hated myself for not putting him down sooner because I can just tell he's suffering. He's weak and has lost SO much weight. I selfishly have kept him alive for longer because I couldn't part with him but I made the decision on what's better for him.

I keep telling myself tomorrow is another day and things will be okay but things feel like they're going to fall apart. I'm going to miss him so much.

My older brother and boyfriend have been such a big help during this time. I think I'll be okay because I know he'll always be with me. And I'll be with him too when my time comes.

How do people deal with this stuff.