destined to pass by my own hand

To clarify this isn’t an emergency, I’ve been living with these thoughts for over ten years.

Hiiii I know this isn’t the place per se to post this but I can’t find the OG post that spoke to this feeling. Maybe some highly sensitive INFP’s might understand— I don’t want to trigger anyone of course, but I’ve been having a really hard time for a very long time. My first “attempt” I was 12. Thank goodness I stuck around because there are people that I’m glad to have met and places I’m glad to have gone however, after graduating from university, I’ve been having a really hard time being on my own and the feelings come back. With condition of the world and everything that’s emerging I feel like I’ll feel the same way in 10 years. I feel like I’m essentially waiting out life. I don’t necessarily want to go, but the mean voice in my head is trying to take me out.

a lot of grammatical errors, but I just wanted to get this out.

Any comments would be appreciated.