How do I make him desire me

So my husband is the first man to really ever respect me in a relationship. All of my past partners didn’t respect me.
The ONLY downside is where they all disrespected me, they REALLY disrespected me in bed.. and I liked it.
Like I said, my husband is very respectful. But sometimes a girl just wants a finger in her ass and for him to tongue punch her fart box you know? Sometimes we just wanna be thrown around like a rag doll.
All of my exes couldn’t keep their hands off of me, they would randomly go down on me all the time, and I’d literally have to tell them no.
Before me, my husband only really had one other sexual partner, when he lost his virginity. We married young.
I however, have had multiple long term relationships and really got to explore those things.
I don’t really know how to initiate sex because before I never had to.
When I’ve brought this up before, it’s usually responded with “I want to feel desired too” or “well I want you to randomly grab me too”. So I would do that but I’d get turned down because he was tired etc.
I really am just looking for honest advice. I love my husband and want him to deeply desire me. He does, in the ways he takes care of things for me and is always looking for ways to help me, and I feel very romantically loved. And it’s not like we don’t sleep together, we do once every other week.

Is there anything I could be doing day to day that would help? I’m more type B and he has OCD so sometimes we clash, but I always do my part.

I should add I know I’m not unattractive because I do get hit on by people, and I’m a model. But lack of being pursued sexually has me feeling otherwise.