GLP-1 use around me is triggering my anorexia

I used to be anorexic during college and recovered a few years back. I have my ups and downs but this year and last year I had been doing really well mentally. I am now at a normal weight and have gained muscle. I sign up for endurance events such as triathlons and cycling events which I really enjoy because they motivate my to keep eating and I feel I’m exercising to be stronger not so much just for aesthetic which is less triggering. However lately I feel my arms have too much muscle and look terrible and whenever I see old pictures of myself it is so triggering. And lately, many older people in my office are taking GLP-1s. They have lost soo much weight. Some who used to be significantly heavier than me now even have thinner arms than me and makes me feel horrible. I don’t think I am in general insecure about how I look, I don’t think I look bad. However, it makes me feel terrible people are getting skinnier just by not eating with the help of these medicines. And they constantly say they aren’t hungry etc. I have been going insane these past couple of weeks. I have a cycling event in August so I cant just stop eating as it will affect my performance. But I am pretty determined that after that I will relapse stop eating and prove people even if they are on GLP-1s I can be skinnier than them. I am aware how insane this sounds but I can’t help thinking it. It is constantly on my mind. I have a yearly checkup with my doctor next week and want to ask him if he could prescribe me GLP-1. Even though I am normal weight and my blood exams are normal so it is unlikely. But I want to stop eating so bad. And if I relapse again it is going to be the last time because I do not want to recover again. I am going insane and cannot talk to anyone about it because that is what ruined my previous relationship. And it is an emotional bourden to whoever I talk about. And lately every time I eat even when I’m hungry I feel horrible and cry. I don’t want to go back but I see no other option. And they get it so easy just taking GLP-1s they can have my dream life and not eat. Almost nothing brings me fulfillment. Work is fine relationships are fine but nothing will make me feel good and happy again except losing a lot of weight and being severely underweight.