AITAH for refusing to name my son after my father in law?

I, 28 F, and my husband, 29F, who I will be calling John, found out I was pregnant 5 months ago. when we found out it was a boy, we were over the moon. I have struggled with fertility issues for a while, as did my mom and her sister, so this truly felt like a miracle to me -even if I knew I wasn’t actually infertile.
skip to the present. Me and my husband did a gender reveal where we had his step sister make a cake, and the color inside was the gender. it was small and simple, and we were so excite. but that night, we were up eating leftover cake and talking About the baby, when the question of the name came up. We hadnt discussed this much, since my husband knew I had always had a first name in mind and he had always loved it. But he then asked if we could chose his fathers first name as the babies middle name.

for context- I have nothing wrong with his father. He is an amazing man, and has been one of our biggest supporters. but his father shares the same first name with the same man who SA’d me in my late teens. i honest considered my husbands request for a moment, but when I imagined writing that name on the birth certificate, Telling people the name, or even the look on my own moms face when I would tell her (as she had a history with the man too) I wanted to throw up.

i reminded my husband of this, as I had told him the name before, but not necessarily as the main focus of what i was talking about. When I first told him about the abuse, I had mainly said “someone did this to me, and ____ is now 6 feet under,” so i can see why he may have remembered The story more then the name. My husband paused for a moment, and then said “but that’s my little boy, and I’ve wanted this for ages. I didn’t remember that ___ was that guys name.”

I immediately tensed and set my fork down, and looked at him, baffled. I was taken aback, and I just stood up and left. I admit, I should have stayed and talked it out, but I needed a few minutes to cool down. I walked to my office, locked the door, and processed. i ended up falling asleep at the desk, and when I woke up, I found my husband had carried me to our Room and then left for work.

i tried to compromise with him over the next few days. we could use his dads nickname, or his middle name, but he was dead set. I am now 7 months along and genuinely don’t know what to do. I understand his dad is important to him, but every time I imagine that name connected to my baby, it feels like my past abuser is still controlling me somehow, even from his grave, reminding me of what he did. And I hate hav that part of my life connected to my child.

should I just stuff my pride down and let my husband have the name, or should I stay strong. I’m considering going to stay with my mom until this mess is sorted out, as the tension in my own home had been unbearable.