I feel like my parents reaction to my coming out has made my transition significantly harder

I'm a college student, I'm 19, and I initially came out to them around Christmas break. I of course hoped that they'd be accepting, "we saw the signs" kinda people, at worst I expected them to not call me by my preferred name but not interfere with my transition. Buy they reacted so much worse. they threatened to kick me out unless i gave my hormones over, called me a bunch of cruel things (bulimic, liar, fetishist, etc), said I was asking to be raped, and my dad even made uncomfortable comments about laying with me after an argument. (he admitted to me at 15 that he watches trans porn)

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I only got out of there by giving them my hormones and saying I'll never do it again. I went weeks without my medication at their home and the only thing keeping me going is that I can return to college and start again. Well know it's upcoming on 8 months and I'm terrified of them finding out again. I had to hide my actions and changes over those months, getting a job while in university, a lot of emotional breakdowns and financial scares.

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I'm terrified of them noticing that my hair is getting longer, my cheeks a bit more full, I'm scared of them noticing my chest because of how my dad notices things when we hug. It has really effected things I've wanted to better pass, like getting my eyebrows done or some lip filler for my thin upper lip. I feel like if I did these things it'd compound and they'd notice something is up.

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people have been telling me that my face has changed, more softer, more feminine, etc. but they seemingly haven't and that's scary to me. my parents are self-centered vindictive people so im scared they'll think of me transitioning again as lying to them for a fetish (my dads words) instead of them seeing how they forced me off of life saving prescription medicine. Everything is always my fault and it always has been.

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growing up I was a very emotional child, I would cry very easily. I get that this is very annoying for parents but instead of being taken to a therapist or anything, they would say no one will believe me if I cried this much, and to stop because people will think that they beat me.