I’m scared to go on dates

I’m 25, and my last date was 7 years ago with my ex, who I dated from 2019 till July of last year.

Honestly, I made the mistake of giving myself up too much for the relationship, and forgot to focus on me. I basically just worked photographing her as she’s an influencer, so nowadays I don’t have a career, I live off of my late dad’s inheritance, don’t have active hobbies of my own as well cause her schedule was really full and I accompanied her everywhere.

I also don’t really know how to talk about myself or my life experience till now without mentioning my ex, and I’m also not funny at all initially. I’m kinda shy and don’t talk much at first. I promise I’m not this boring, I’m really passionate about the things I care about, love stories and art, but I don’t really have much to come out as interesting to other people nowadays.

Eventually, with proximity, I consider myself really pleasant to be around with, I’m really present, playful, but try to be as kind and respectful as I can when the situation requires it, but those aren’t things that really stand out at first sight. Everyone’s nice when you first meet them (I think).

I do want to date tho, I’m over my past relationship, grieved what I had to, but I miss the feeling of being and living life and experiencing things with someone. I don’t really have so much patience to, idk, build a career or become good at a certain hobby before meeting someone just so I can come out as interesting to the other person so I don’t have to explain these 7 years I didn’t do anything of my life, tho the shame of the lack of those things is exactly what’s keeping me from meeting new people. I just don’t find myself interesting enough to date someone.