**Am I overreacting about these texts?**

I have been married to my husband for 22 years.

The woman in these texts is an ex-girlfriend of his. He claims they were never officially dating, but I know they were sleeping together because he told me so when we first got together. I have never met her and have never spoken to her.

In the messages, he tells her that he was hospitalized for heart problems and implies that I wasn’t there for him. The reality is that I was there. He was hospitalized because of symptoms that were later determined to be related to undiagnosed sleep apnea. His heart rate was elevated during the hospitalization, but there was never any diagnosis of heart disease, no discussion of heart surgery, and no “hardening around a valve.” I have all of the medical records, scans, and test results.

He also tells her that I am bipolar. I was diagnosed a few months after we married, but I have consistently remained under psychiatric care and on medication throughout our marriage.

For additional context, my husband has been unemployed since June 2023. During that time I became the sole provider and, at points, worked two jobs to support our family.

He insists this was simply an innocent conversation between two old friends. He also says he was stressed and needed to vent. After these messages, they spent nearly an hour on the phone together.

She lives on the other side of the country, so my concern is not that they’re having a physical affair. My concern is that he is creating a false narrative about our marriage, portraying me as an absent or uncaring spouse, and then telling me I’m overreacting when I object.

Am I overreacting, or would you also find this inappropriate and concerning?