Issues with midwife

Hi everyone, apologies this might be long but I desperately want advice on an issue with a midwife I’ve been having please.

I gave birth on 10/06 after a failed induction, difficult labour and having to have stitches.Everyone in the maternity department was so lovely and supportive.

Yesterday 2 community midwife’s turned up at my house (I knew someone would be coming but they didn’t have an appointment). Not ideal, but fine. I had just woke from the sofa having been out of hospital for 16 hours. “Connie” immediately made a comment about my husband being on his computer (daughter was asleep)
I talk about latching issues I’ve been having and ask for advice on this. Connie states they do not recommend using swaddles or dummies (nhs guidelines suggest considering them). Advice was fine and definitely something I have and will continue to consider but came across as very judgey.

Took swaddle off and she told me to get a vest and onesie for my child as she saw she was just in a nappy a swaddle. My house gets very hot and holds heat, I have a room thermometer and adjusted what she was wearing because of this. I was literally wearing a bra and maternity shorts. I complied, tried to latch my child and struggled. I suggested that I might get some formula so I could ensure she was eating and she snippily told me she could not recommend that. She then told me she would be getting another midwife to come to my house the following day to check in and told me to log all that my daughter consumes and left.

I spent all evening crying to my partner about what a bad mother I was already, he was extremely upset with the way that she had spoke to me. I bought some formula which seems to be going down well and have been using alongside colostrum.

Other midwife calls me and I tell her that the formula feeding is going well and that I don’t need to see her but if I have any problems I would call. Me and my husband were going back to the hospital to drop some gifts off to the labour ward when I noticed my daughter had a bit of a yellow tinge to her so said we would get her checked whilst we were there.

Spoke to another midwife who explained it was jaundice and that they weren’t worried but to keep an eye and they would monitor it. Just as we were leaving Connie spots us and comes over and asks if I had had my feeding follow up; my husband still irritated states that no, we had cancelled weee using formula and we go to leave as I was now nearly in tears. As we walk past she asks if I have a blanket for my child (to which I state yes, I do in my bag) as she has 2 layers on, a hat, is in her car seat in a very hot hospital ward!!

I leave and immediately break down again at how this woman seems to be targeting me.

I genuinely have so much appreciation for all of the amazing ladies who helped look after me and delivered my baby but this woman has made me feel terrified that I am doing everything wrong for my baby and makes me want to cancel all my upcoming appointments so I don’t run into her.

Sorry for long post and formatting. Any advice welcome, thank you