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Ok so, context. I am a 35/F. My friend (34/M) of 17 years has always been a little flaky. He has a lot of mental health stuff he’s been working on the past 7-8 years and dealing with a lot with his family. I get it. But in the entire time we’ve been friends I’m usually bailed on when I make the plans. When he makes plans I’m expected to want to participate or be grateful. I am dealing with a lot of stuff on my own, I’m a new mom, and I’ve tried inviting him to this yearly event we go to twice, and he’s bailed on me twice. The first time I got pretty upset because he had a job interview come up literally a week before we were gonna leave and I had gotten my hopes up that we’d have this great time. Second time I was just disappointed because he claimed his mom said something that triggered a depressive episode the DAY before we were gonna leave. We didn’t end up going this year anyway because the funds just weren’t there but I didn’t even plan on inviting him this time. I have other friends who are similar, they make excuses or they don’t follow through, but they also mostly have chronic illnesses that affect their ability to travel now, as do I, but I can plan around them. They just don’t seem to want to make the effort. It wasn’t always like this. When we were younger, sometimes things would pan out and we’d actually go, but now that we’re all in our 30’s-40’s I feel like I won’t actually see some of these people ever again unless I lug my son and husband over to see THEM. No one seems to want to see ME. So my question is, AITA for no longer wanting to invite this specific friend to anything? He’s a good friend, he’s had my back a bunch of times when no one else really did, but the rejection I feel every time he bails is rough. It feels personal at this point, even though I know he’s mentally struggling and can’t be present sometimes. Why be supportive though if you won’t even spend proper time with somebody? I’m so weirded out. And as a new mom, I need consistency in my friendships now more than ever.

P.S. absolutely no way it’s romantic anything, he sees me as a sister and always has. We are not each other’s type.

P.P.S I understand how depression works. And I’ve helped him through many an episode and learned a lot about my own mental health through him since therapy is basically mandatory for him and I just can’t afford it right now. But we trigger each other sometimes and it’s just not really healthy for ME to have to deal with someone so flaky.