How to feel hopeful again about life?

I’ve struggled with maintaining a stable sense of joyfulness and happiness my whole life, but I always had hope.

Hope that things will get better. Well I’m 28 now, things aren’t bad, they’re just not the way I’d hoped.

I do practice gratitude as much as I can.

I just feel like I put myself down so much, I don’t have many friends. I don’t want to look back on a half lived life. How to feel hopeful again? I want to live more, do more.

I’m coming out of a very dark phase which lasted over 2 yrs. I had been so depressed and hopeless. I lost the ability to dream. It was sad.

I feel like the realities of life really hit you as you get older. I dive into spiritually, I know happiness and sadness are two sides of the same coin - why does than not bring me true comfort?

I just want to be cradled by the universe. How to get that feeling? I know I sound crazy!