I hate being diagnosed as autistic

so long story short, I was diagnosed with autism at 16 after a long battle with bulimia, suicidal thoughts, and severe anxiety.

The thing is, i feel intense shame having this label on me. I see so many posts/videos/TikTok’s/whatever about autistic people, where they can’t talk, are violent, can’t comprehend things, and the posts often mention how much the people around them either hate them, are afraid of them, or pity them. I don’t like sharing a diagnosis with that.

I don’t like the fear that medical staff will read the diagnosis and assume Im r-worded, I don’t like the intense shame and fear I feel whenever autism is brought up. I hate this shitty diagnosis. Like I would be fine with almost any other label than that.