Confused about my sexuality and unsure how to move forward

I (22F) am scared to explore my sexuality. I’ve never been with anyone, regardless of gender, in any capacity and this is largely due to me being confused for 10 years. I’ve had crushes on girls, while less frequent than I have on guys, but I’ve never felt a real initiative to do anything with either. It’s never been something I’ve acted on, so I can’t tell if either is a fascination or a genuine romantic interest. I’ve had suspicions I’m bisexual for quite some time, but I’m a late bloomer to all things relationships and romance.

For context, I grew up in a strict Catholic and immigrant household (classic scenario, of course) where it is absolutely unacceptable and could put me in serious harms way if I ever 100% came out. It’s unfortunate because I also know so many people in my community, but don’t know a single other queer person of my ethnicity (trust me I’ve looked). It’s even hard to gauge how my own friends of my culture and cousins feel about being queer because it’s such a hush-hush topic.

I fortunately moved away from home for college and made a few queer friends, but for some reason, I insisted on pretending I am 100% straight. My two closest friends are actually lesbian and gay, and to my understanding, based on the way I talk about guys and how they say I don’t get some things they talk about, they have no idea. I’m worried they’ll feel upset that I couldn’t be honest with them for so long.

My current dilemma is I am scared of invalidating my friends and potential partners if I tell them I’m confused. I’m not really sure *how* I’m supposed to go about figuring out what I actually like, considering I struggle to be honest with myself quite often. Additionally, I worry that if I tell people I am trying things out, they’ll feel like an experiment. I know this is a common complaint from secure queer people (rightfully so) and I would absolutely hate to hurt anyone’s feeling and make them feel like it’s all a silly little game.

What do I do? I’m so happy with all other aspects of my life - I have great friends, my career is heading where I want it to, I have a great social life and love all other aspects of my life. Yet, this one thing has clouded me for so long and I know I’m holding myself back by ignoring romance and my own identity. I think I’m just scared of figuring it out and having to deal with how potentially dangerous the reaction will be from my community. I could never ask someone to be in a relationship with me if I figure out I’m queer and stay closeted, but coming out genuinely seems impossible.

I appreciate all advice and I know this was very long lol sorry.