My Family is Useless at Mental Health

and as a result, it's affecting me mentally.

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I don't think they're bad people. I just believe they're absolutely horrible with this sort of thing.

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Ever since I was a child, I always believed something was wrong with me. I know I'm not a normal person—there are symptoms and behavioral traits I have that are less than normal, which makes it hard to make friends as both before as a kid and today as a teenager. In fact, I was always told that I was a sensitive child with how often I broke down over the smallest things.

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But now, it just feels like there's a mental illness I have that I'm unaware of.

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I'm not going to jump into conclusions and self-diagnose myself with disorders based on whatever the Internet tells me, I know I need a professional to tell me what I am. The only problem is, my parents won't consider doing a check-up because 'it will just make things more complicated for your future'. Ironically enough, this decision they're making is complicating my problems even further.

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As time passes by, I feel like it's worsening. My emotional state is a rollercoaster, I tend to have horrible intrusive thoughts about myself, and I'm starting to grow more and more hateful towards my entire family as a whole. It's getting harder to just be a normal person.

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I can't confide in them anymore. They just keep telling me that I can simply control my emotions. That the things that happen is part of 'God's plan'. Because for some reason, it's just 'that easy' to them.

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So, after having another mental breakdown over another small inconvenience, I decided to go on this godforsaken app and write this in hopes somebody else can relate to what I'm feeling—and possibly hope that a family member discovers this and how I'm feeling.

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Any advice? Will it get better? I don't know.

Anything will help. Thanks. 👀👀👀