How to Stop Comparing Myself?

14F, I need help.

I have a twin sister, and honestly, sometimes I hate having a twin.

I was about to sleep, but my brain keeps reminding me of all the times people seemed to love, like, or favor my sister more than me. It actually hurts.

For example, when my dad showed our report cards to our relatives on his side, I got an 88 in Math, 90+ in all my other subjects, and a 93 average. My sister got a 90 in Math, 90+ in all her subjects too, and a 95 average, so she got With High Honors. Then I saw our relatives in the family chat saying things like, "Wow, line of 9!" and praising her. I know they were talking about her, and even though I know she did great, it still hurt because I tried my best too.

I've also noticed that she seems to have more friends and connections than me. Most of the time, I'm actually the one who talks to people first and becomes friends with them, but somehow they end up getting closer to my sister. Maybe they find her funnier or more interesting.

One day, I started playing volleyball and began training seriously. Sometimes she would mock me and say I wasn't good, which made me really upset. Then during one of our club activities, we got the chance to play. We were on different teams, and I ended up on the bench while she got to play because she could hit harder.

After that, she told me that she loves volleyball too and wants to play with me. The thing is, when I first started playing, I invited her many times, but she always said no. That's why I got annoyed. It feels like she copies a lot of the things I do, and I don't know if my feelings about that are valid.

She's smart, she's Top 1 in our grade, and I'm Top 4. She's pretty popular. I don't think I'm jealous of that part, though.

Another thing that makes me sad is my appearance. I have pimples on my forehead and cheeks, and I have a chubby face. Whenever people ask, "How do we tell you two apart?" I get embarrassed because the first thing that comes to mind is, "I'm the one with acne." My sister has clearer skin, and that makes me feel even worse.

I don't know how to stop thinking like this.

Sometimes I just want to go on walks alone every day, listen to music, and clear my mind. But I'm too scared because I keep thinking, "What if people judge me?"

Has anyone else felt this way before? How do you stop comparing yourself to someone? I hate this feeling. 😢