Worst resume you have ever seen but still need feedback, PLEASE

https://preview.redd.it/qpfmh4f9537h1.png?width=1362&format=png&auto=webp&s=650829a6b4073b0289858d69cc8991bb6986a799

https://preview.redd.it/726wykba537h1.png?width=1360&format=png&auto=webp&s=f55b66c87a45d3e3b8ca29e2cc2d8469150c2dd9

I know experienced people are going to laugh at this but please go easy on me and I know this thing is all over the place but could you guys help me critique it, HARSHLY