I need serious help/ADHD

TW : weight mention

Hi guys, I have had the worst depression/ binge months of my life. From October - current I have gained maybe 18kg. I went from 67kg to 85kg. Which is insane I know. I am now stuck in a massive shame cycle because up until maybe march I went to the gym every day, did 1 hour cardio without fail and kind of kept my bingeing off. I took pride in my appearance, my whole character was different I was more confident but still had bad body dysmorphia as I believed I was so fat but I was muscle. I had some pretty traumatic events and I completely disconnected from everything. I haven’t exercised since then, I can’t stick to a diet I have no discipline ,I sleep until 10am or later, Its a struggle to shower or wash my hair, I have no energy and I feel unmotivated to get my life together. I have very low self esteem but food is the only think that comforts me. Every time I try to reinforce any routine or something g that could help me it’s almost like I don’t try because I know it won’t last, I feel like I’ve
I have been diagnosed with ADHD but I am want to stay away from medication if I can, however it feels like a last straw right now.

Is there any support systems anyone knows off or any advice anyone has that’s been in a similar position? Or if anyone has any free suggestions to help. Thanks guys sorry for the rant. :)