Friendships are starting to feel like a job to me

I’m in a weird place with friendships right now.

A few weeks ago I basically prayed for the all the bad people to leave my life. And honestly… it feels like it’s happening. People are drifting, conversations are fading, and I just lost a friend because I never called him back.

And the truth is, he’s not wrong. I saw the calls. I just didn’t have the energy to answer.

I’m not ignoring people out of hate or not caring. I just don’t have the same social energy I used to. Even basic communication feels draining lately.

I used to be super dependent on people. Always needed someone to talk to. Now I actually enjoy being alone more than anything. Quiet, peace, no constant messages.

But I still get moments where I miss people too. I just can’t keep up with everyone the way I used to.

So I’m stuck in this middle space where friendships feel like too much effort… but disappearing also costs me people.

I don’t know what the balance is. I just know I don’t have the energy to fight to keep people in my life anymore.