loving you broke something in me

I hate myself so much for missing you, you, the one who couldn't choose me. Ever. Like you specifically got pleasure making me feel unimportant to you, letting other people get in the way. My communication sucked too, but god were you cruel. And it makes the pain so much worse.

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I didn't deserve that. And you've never apologized.

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I'm sorry I loved you. And I'm sorry I still do. I wish I didn't either.