7s who have a tendency for sadness?

I’ve been trying to figure out my core type for years. I’m autistic so it was hard to separate my autism traits vs my core personality. I always felt like I was a 7 but I don't necessarily fit the stereotype of a 7. I’ve realized though that I think my autism symptoms distort this a lot, and I think I really am a 7 despite not being as clearly outgoing as most 7s, simply due to my social struggles due to autism. I crave socialization but struggle with it.

One thing I’m conflicted about: I know a core part about 7s is that they tend to occupy themselves to avoid feeling negative emotions about their lives. That is not necessarily the case for me, but I think I figured it out. I thrive when I am able to keep myself busy and have a social circle I feel confident and outgoing in. When life permits it, I am at my best if I can be busy and social. However, mostly due to my autism, I have a hard time making friends and I have a hard time keeping busy due to limited energy among other factors.

The reality is that I spend lots of time alone and bored, against my wishes. A core part of my identity is that I crave excitement and adventure. But I simply do not have access to it most of the time. So, in order to escape boredom and numbness, I can get intensely sad. I’ve always described sadness as a beautiful emotion, one I much prefer over numbness. I see some other 7s saying they like to engage in sad content as long as it's not sadness about their own lives. That's not the case for me. Being melancholy about my own life can provide me with a deep, almost exhilarating comfort. It provides meaning in a way.

Another thing is that I don't always occupy myself with uplifting activities to avoid negative emotions, and not because I want to be authentic (peep my core type 4 questioning), but because I can't stand fake/performative happiness. To me it feels boring and numb. I would rather feel intense sadness than fake happiness. Because what I crave is emotional intensity. Preferable positive, but when that is not accessible negative fills the gap.

Does that make sense, and does anyone relate? I suspect I have a strong 4 fix. I don't even know my wing/subtypes/fixes yet. I’ve been into the enneagram since 2018 but struggled so much with finding my type due to being autistic. Revisiting it recently as someone who understands myself better is very fun and I definitely resonate with 7 the most but I wanted to see if this truly is a contradiction or if my explanation makes sense!