2 small kids, love marriage but turns out he’s gay

Asalam to everyone on here. I’m not sure whether I’m writing to seek advice or maybe to write this as a warning to other young girls and also boys.

I got married 12 years ago to someone I only met once in Pakistan and then mainly kept contact through social media with. We had great (what seemed like) understanding and we fell in love, or at least that’s what we thought. Despite being somewhat related we had a huge family as well as status gap due to which both families did not see eye to eye. However a year later we got married in our late teens/early 20s.

My husbands from Multan/Lahore and I’m from the UK. After a lot of struggle he joined me here and the first year was amazing but as time passed by he became more and more sensitive about his family back home. Lost interest in me and stayed out of the house a lot. He continued his MA degree here, found a job, everything went great. But the only difference was that as soon as he would get something, be it a job or getting enrolled to a university, he would find ways to literally just run away from home and stay away. I’ve always had great relations with my in laws especially his parents and sisters, we’ve always seen eye to eye. But slowly he started to tell them the tiniest things about me that weren’t even actually there. I used to ignore them in the beginning and that’s what my family advised me too saying that once he’s settled things will change. With the help of both families, perhaps pressure, he would always come back home but as soon as both families would be out of the picture it’d almost feel like he’s staying at home or returning enforced. Never happily. I doubted myself sooo much despite being a working wife throughout our marriage, I would cook 2 times a day fresh food and clean and everything. Keep myself in shape look good yada yada all of this because I genuinely loved him a lot. And he loved me even more? Whenever he would go to Pakistan for a holiday it’d never be less than 3 months and he’d never tell me before leaving except for 1 day not even 24 hours. And he’d always fight so I wouldn’t go with him and have his family turn against me too. After a couple times convincing them that nothing like that has happened bw us (for example me throwing his food in the bin for him to get out and eat?!) I stopped explaining myself as well because it just started feeling like.. I’ve been explaining myself and shown proof to you guys for so many years, why do you still believe him? Your own son/brother that you never even respected yourself at all ever?! (said by his entire family themselves, they used to call him the black cloth of their house, one of the reasons we got so close to each other too.. I had immense sympathy for him). When he’d come back I always wondered how he could stay away from any intimacy for so long.. and he’d be out always at night till after Fajar adhaan.

Now we’re 12 years ahead with 2 minor kids and I just figured that he’s been gay all along. Found proof in his phone of multiple old boyfriends since the time he was in Unique academy, not sure how old he must’ve been then but I’m shivering as I’m writing this.. our first born was planned cause we went childless for 8-9 years and we both got questioned a lot by our families and that it’d solve a lot of problems we have and we did but after the first I decided to seperate due to excessive mental and nearly physical abuse but I was already pregnant with my second boy so I stayed. Things are getting from bad to worse, it’s been 6 months now and he’s out every night and I even find condoms in his wallet.. he doesn’t give two f about any one of us and I’m too ashamed to share this with anyone.. guys what do I do.. I’m so heartbroken.. he’s addicted to weed and hash and if he doesn’t smoke it he literally becomes the devil, he’s that crazy.. my marriage has fallen apart.. I never understood why he’d never compliment me, why he’d never take me out on dates in public, I’d cook literally 6 course meals for him and his entire family everyone would compliment me except for him and I’d think it’s perfectly normal that’s just how he is.. before any event we had to attend a sa couple he’d start a fight and not even bat an eye at me despite everyone telling him how good his wife would look.. as soon as we’d get home he’d leave for the entire night till morning to god knows where.. I always thought it’s just his aggressive nature.. since We have had our first child he’d even get angrier over the tiniest things at me like why I didn’t call his mother one day and he’d even get up to beat me at this point but I’ve let it slide.. I’ve let a lot of disrespect, mistreatment and other kinda shit slide but this has become just too much. People look at me and they’d never believe I’d put up with any of this but I did out of love and to have my own little happy family I prayed and hoped for so bad.
Please I beg you guys, please don’t blindly trust even your own siblings on certain things like character.. do your own interrogation properly! Is there any chances that I can still save my home or have him go to therapy or so? Would that help?