Extreme anxiety only comes when you've really made up your mind that you're quitting

God bless if you're reading this, I need some support here. I am on day 5 of not smoking weed and this time I really made up my mind that I am not going back. So many lost opportunities I've missed because I was high as hell, the apathy and dread was killing me slowly inside, so I said right this is it, I am quitting cold turkey, I am not going back no more, and it seems like my body and brain are reacting in a way I never anticipated.

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I've had T Breaks before without an issue, I've gone a week without smoking or edibles before and it's been completely fine, maybe a little grumpy and bored, but nothing like what I am experiencing these days.

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I was riding the train to work a couple days ago (day 3) and all of a sudden I started to feel like I couldn't grasp oxygen, so I started to hyperventilate. I got out of the subway with my heart racing, light headedness and impending doom. Before I knew it, I collapses in what seemed to be a rush of adrenaline or something, I thought it was a heart attack. My whole body went numb, like an electrical feeling in my whole body, from my face to my feet, I felt this huge wave or current run through me and it was hands down the worst shit I've ever felt, and I was in public. A couple of police officers had to take me to a safe place until I somehow felt better, but not really. I feel on the edge of a panic attack constantly. Usually it will start with a random ectopic heartbeat that makes me spiral into despair, it really really sucks ass. I am afraid I'll lose my job due to being afraid of the commute.

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Thankfully, I was able to confront my fear and got into the subway again yesterday and got to my job on time, and I felt absolutely normal while at work, but as soon as I stepped outside, it was hell to get back home. I am also experiencing depersonalization and derealization, cold sweat and ongoing panic. I think that this is happening because I know for sure I won't go back to it. I just need some reassurance that I am not dying. I went to the doctor and they did not notice anything wrong with my heart but the physical sensations are way too overwhelming and I really don't know how to make it better.