i miss my ex so bad

i miss him so much because i wasn't ready to lose him when he told me it was over. He left because of his mental health and i know it was for the best but i don't know what to do without him. i can't think about anything other than him because he has been all i have thought about for over a year and i keep crying even though it's nearly been a month now. i cant get over him i just don't know how

i want him back i feel like thats the only thing that would make me feel better but i can't act on that because I'll just make him feel worse and thats not fair i understand why he left and it's completely valid but it hurts so bad.

I've tried to distract myself but everything is just temporary and the longer i go without thinking about him or being sad about him the worse it is when i finally give myself time to think about it.

I've been struggling to eat properly too, I've lost my appetite and i feel nauseous when i try to eat.

it has gotten to the point of me actually throwing up

and i swear that's not a healthy part of breaking up with someone. I'm just posting this because i have no one else to talk to about this and i want to tell someone.