I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore

I'm both mentally and physically disabled. I live in a very dead-end area where the hospital is more of a 'band-aid station'. And I've tried to get on disability the past 14 years, but was always denied even with a personal nurse and caseworker helping me. I've also been in the hospital recently, I almost died because my heart is so weak the doctors were shocked I was still alive.

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But regardless of all that, I was just told by my family to 'try harder' or they'll kick me out. Because they expect me to be a 'live in maid' for them as I don't have a job or income of any kind. Even though they know I'm disabled and struggle with basically everything in my life.

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I'm legit scared, my area has no resources and I can't just move away either. I've tried so much on my own, even with my issues getting in the way. But it's never enough. Not for my family, or for the help I actually need to make my own life better. And I don't want to give up either, even with current events in the countryside going on I still want to try.

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I just wish I had someone actually helping me. Like when I had a caseworker, or a personal nurse. But unfortunately, in my area, every time I got help someone retired and the next person who took their place just didn't give me the same level of help I needed to continue. And it's this constant cycle of disappointment.

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I know the system is set up to make those like me fail. I just wish I wasn't on the verge of being homeless every few months for it. Because my family can't help me like I need, and outside help is so uncertain that I feel like a failure every single time I think things are getting better.