Hello everyone 

Here is an ultrasound of my baby -she was upside down on the photo. It was the first ultrasound where we got to see her and the heartbeat at 176bpm (assuming she’s a she based on my intuition)

We’ve been trying for 4 years and finally a day before our 9th Anniversary (Feb 14), we found out we were expecting. We were so ecstatic!

On March 19th, we had a car accident. A car in front of us went on a full stop, but my husband was able to break on time. Unfortunately, the car behind us didn’t and hit our car… We were okay, no one was hurt. 

The next day, before going to the get an ultrasound there were a lot of birds swirling around our house and thought that was weird, it felt uncomfortable. When we went to the clinic, and when it was my turn, there was a bird chirping on the window where I lie down. It gave me peace.   
But unfortunately, there was no cardiac activity and was told the baby stopped growing a few days before my first ultrasound. I was devastated… we were devastated and hurt. 

Few hours later, I got d&c and was told me at the hospital that the accident saved me because it has been over 2 weeks and I was asymptomatic. 

3 days after my d&c, I was crying in my room thinking about my baby… my dad knocked and said there was a bird trying go in my room. See attached photo of the bird, it stayed in the room chirping for a while. Lol

My heart is still breaking.. and I have been having vivid dreams lately where it’s indicating I maybe pregnant again.   
I still cry at night and terrified of what had happened. And also scared of going through the same thing again. 

So here I am trying to make sense of all of this and trying to find comfort….

Pregnancy loss - I feel loss