😮‍💨

I deleted reddit because i was spending too much time scrolling this fucking sub. I only redownloaded it again right now because

​

a) im a little drunk and

​

b) im really tempted to text you but i dont want to "disturb your peace" so this feels like an okay way to get my feelings out without messaging you direct.

​

So if u want to read this and message you can. if not, keep ur precious fucking peace and ill just iunno... be here in perpetual suffering i guess. I just miss you. It hurts that you wont even look at me anymore. I mean at least when u looked at me I knew we still had a connection. now u just act like I dont even exist. Like ur ghosting me In a different way. Instead of disappearing, you're acting as if im the ghost and god does it ever hurt. It hurts so bad sometimes I feel like just just walking away. From you, the job, all of it! I love you. I wish you loved me back i the same way. In the way where it doesnt matter if we're lovers or friend as long as our souls are close to eachother, the way they're meant to be. But everything is so transactional with you. If im not providing you with something tangible the you have no use for me. I hate that were at thes cross roads. I wish you would just reach out... but you wont. So here I am. Posting on reddit once again because I have jonother outlet for my stupid fucking feelings I have no where else to put