My trust was already broken once. Now I’ve found something else, and all I feel is peace.

I (29F) need some outside perspective because I don’t know if I’m overreacting or if I’m finally seeing things clearly.
My husband (38M) and I have a 10-month-old son. Back in October 2025, I found messages between him and another woman. The conversations weren’t explicitly sexual, but they were frequent, personal, and included late-night chats. They were fb/insta friends I kept noticing he was liking all her pics, I had asked him if he was talking to her and he told me, I believed him. When I found the messages, it completely shattered my trust. He claimed she meant nothing to him, blocked her, and we tried to move forward.

Since then, rebuilding trust has been incredibly difficult. He did make efforts to reassure me, and I tried to believe him.

I’m currently in India on maternity leave with our baby, surrounded by family. My husband joined us in June 2026. Something felt off when he arrived, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I even jokingly asked if he’d already “done it” before coming, and he seemed very offended by the suggestion.

Today I went through his phone. I couldn’t find messages with the woman, but I did discover that he had unblocked her. Maybe there were no conversations, but I don’t understand why he would unblock someone who nearly destroyed our marriage.

Then I found something else. I found text messages from a massage place. I looked up the business and it appears to be one of those places that offers “happy endings.” The messages included photos of women. I confronted him and he denied doing anything.

The problem is that because of what happened before, I don’t believe him.

What surprised me most was my reaction. The first betrayal hurt so badly that this time I almost felt numb. I wanted to cry but my tears won’t come but it’s like I already expected to be disappointed. I had told him after the first incident that if I found anything else, I was done.

I was seriously considering quitting my job to stay home with our child. Now I’m questioning everything. Part of me feels like this is a sign not to give up my financial independence.

One thing that has surprised me is how calm I feel. I’m hurt, but I’m also numb. The first breach of trust affected me so deeply that I think part of me has been preparing for this possibility ever since.

To be clear, I’m not in denial and I’m not acting out of emotion. I feel fully capable of thinking clearly about my situation. In fact, what I’m feeling most right now is a sense of peace.

For the first time, I’m finding myself looking forward to the possibility of life without him. Not because I think being single is exciting or because I’m interested in someone else. It’s much simpler than that. When I imagine a future on my own, what I feel is peace and quiet. No wondering if I’m being lied to. No checking for signs that something is off. No constantly trying to rebuild trust that keeps getting broken. Be the best version of me for my child and myself. 
That feeling alone has me questioning whether this marriage is already over in my heart.